The Great F**k Buddy Checklist!

So having carefully considered and proscribed the list of qualities required in the perfect woman its easy now to just sit back and wait for her to arrive in my life - blissful in the knowledge that no-one short of an angel will ever be able to steal my heart now that I have laid down the rules! Of course I'm perfect in every way, and live up to all those ideals myself - naturally!

After sucking on the helium balloon of idealism one has to take a few big breaths from the oxygen mask of realism and come down to earth. I realize that I'm a fairly energetic young man, brimming with ideas and new plans, I seem to be terminally horny and craving for intimacy and company, but at the same time feeling very happy with my new found state of singleness - what’s a guy to do?

I've never been one for going out on the pull and having one night stands. Never done it. Really don't get excited by the idea of having sex with someone who I don't even know if I actually like, and then never finding out either way. Something in my sense of self respect feels like I’m being cheated, or cheapened, or just short changing myself.

There’s another way round this - which is hooking up with a f**k buddy, for anyone who’s not entirely clear what that means its when you are ‘friends with benefits’ or, in other words adding a casual sexual dimension to a regular friendship. There are two kinds - f**k buddies you meet as a 1 night stand and turn into a regular, or people who have been friends for a time before who you fancy and want to sleep with. The first kind is easy to manage. there's really nothing complicated about that at all. The second is a bit more tricky and has often been cited as a really great way to f**k up a perfectly good friendship, but I can say with conviction that this is not necessarily the case as I have recently found out!

Its all really down to how emotionally mature you both are able to be about it, and how much self control you have.

In my recent experience of this it so happened that I had a semi regular sexual thing with someone who had been a pretty close friend, and then after a few weeks went right back to being close friends again. No pain, no trauma, no apologies, no regrets, no emotional hangover…

So here’s how it works:
1) You and your friend are able to discuss sex frankly and have a shared understanding around it.
2) You are able to openly discuss the fact that you don’t want a relationship. And both agree. If one party really wants to be serious then its going to end badly. It helps if there’s some practical reason why its not possible for you to have a proper relationship – this makes it easy to keep it simple.
3) You both are emotionally self aware enough and honest enough to discuss your real feelings around the situation, and explore with each other in an atmosphere of mutual love and respect.
4) Remember it is possible to love someone exactly the way you love a close friend, whilst not actually being in love with them. Remember this distinction - its very important. When you have sex you make love, and be as loving and passionate as you like, but its sharing love with a good friend, in the same way you might share a really good laugh.
5) Be self monitoring – don’t allow your own neediness to come into it. Treat your friend with the same respect you always did, and when it’s over let it go without a struggle – remember it’s the friendship that you want to keep, nothing else.
6) Don't tell all your mates about it.

QUESTION FOR THE FLOOR: Anything crucial I've missed here? Whilst this advise is great for me it might be totally different for someone else... does this fit in with anyone else's experiences? Or have you got an example of when it went horribly wrong?

Happy new year y'all!